ANXIETY

Anxiety another word for mental distress and excessive worry.  I’m inflicted with anxiety most days and try as I do, I can’t seem to shake the worry.  Worry about everything.  Will I be all right today?  Will my son be safe at playschool and not fall off the jungle gym again.  Worry the bump he sustained from the fall isn’t something to worry about.  Can we control our worry?  I’ve tried to hide it on the outside, but it controls the inside and I end up making myself feel worse, instead I should maybe admit  that I’m a worrier, control freak and paranoid and accept myself and endure these episodes of extreme anxiety.

Most of us climb in a car without wondering if we will reach our destination.  I of course wonder and worry what is around the corner and imagine the most terrible event  still to come and I breath a sigh of relief when I’m home again.  Safety.  A place where I can control most things and keep dangers at bay and hide behind a closed door. 

What will tomorrow bring?  Will it rain?  Will I be ok?  Will I feel fine?  Sometimes these worries control me and all that I say and do in a single day.  I’m unsure if I even have a positive bone in my body.  There have been times I thought positive thoughts and felt positive about things.  Most times it didn’t last.  My critical, realistic personality takes over.  I just see and know what is possible in this world and maybe I want to be prepared for what is to come.  So if I tell myself this could happen, then if it does, then I’m prepared.  So if you think it might rain, you take an umbrella and when and if it does rain, you have an umbrella.  Now I call that being prepared.

Being prepared every day, all of the time can be tiring and draining.  It weakens the immune system and one day you wake up you discover you’ve somehow got the flu.  So I think maybe I’m not able to control all things and stop bad things happening to my family.  Maybe I can just try to accept things as they occur and deal as the moment requires.  Why should I worry about things that in most likelihood will never happen.

 

 

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